The spirit of volunteerism is in the blood of lifelong East Enders, who were raised in a place defined more by the need to help our neighbors cope with the ebb and flow of our rural economy than by ostentatious displays of wealth.
That’s why it rankles us so deeply to see this place overrun by people who think it’s their world and we are just living in it. At one point we would have given visitors our shirts, knowing full well they’d never return the favor. But that spirit has burned us to a point where it’s difficult to muster the ability to continue to give.
Pictured Above: A 2011 performance by the Hidden City Orchestra at the Southold Summer Showcase Concert Series, one of the many community-minded endeavors organized by Peg Murphy.
We’ve lost countless volunteers in our communities in the years since Covid. At a recent funeral for one person who worked her whole life to make Southold a better place, we were told that hundreds of people who gave so much of their lives to the community had left or died in the past five years, and that’s in Southold alone.
The list of lifelong East Enders who have disappeared grows exponentially when you add in the people who were working so hard to get by that they didn’t have time to give back, and left because the pace of life here was no longer worth the stress. We aren’t surprised when we hear that these neighbors are now finding the time to volunteer in communities many states away. This spirit is in our blood, and it travels.
It’s difficult for one small newspaper to honor and recognize those who have given back and are no longer with us — The Beacon could be filled to the brim each month with nothing but remembrances of pillars of our community who’ve been lost.
Here are two we lost in August: Paramedic Kathy Hartmann of Cutchogue, who with her husband Richard were the heart for decades of the Cutchogue Fire Department Rescue Squad. They volunteered daily, dropping everything to help their neighbors in the midst of a medical emergency. We lost Rich earlier this year. There’s no fast replacement for their knowledge base or their attention to patient care, and it’s rare to find volunteers willing to put the time and energy necessary into becoming paramedics, who require a great deal more training than basic EMTs. Unable to fill this loss, many local volunteer rescue squads are now supplementing their ranks with paid medical personnel.
We lost teacher Peggy Murphy of Southold later in August. She was a leader who quietly helped CAST become the powerhouse safety net that keeps food on the table for so many North Forkers, while also working to keep Southold’s history alive at the Southold Historical Society, organizing concerts at the gazebo in the center of Southold, providing medical equipment to her neighbors with the Southold Sunshine Society and spearheading the Southold Tree Committee’s annual Arbor Day poster contest. She also invited everyone into her home to see her Christmas Village railroad set each year.
These women gave more than their time and energy — they gave their attention and love, and inspired and taught others consistently along the way.
Everyone we see on the street (and it’s becoming more and more difficult to find people you know on the street in late August) has several other names of people who’ve recently left or died — people who gave to this place with their whole hearts.
Can we ever replace them? No, for so many reasons, many of which are economic and many of which go far beyond the shifting demographic realities on the East End.
But we can keep their spirit in our hearts and in our actions every day.
If you just arrived here and you want to know how you should fit in, it’s really very simple. Show up. Help out. Put your neighbor before yourself once in a while.
You won’t be a part of what you call “Out East” until you give back of your time, care and attention. Giving money doesn’t cut it. If you can give those things, we grouchy locals will stop giving you a hard time when you call this place home.
Happy Tumbleweed Tuesday.
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Funny that that connective spirit never occurred to me before, but it is absolutely true. Sitting here on a Sunday morning, I can hardly think of a single person I know who isn’t giving their time and whole heart to serving our community. It is heartbreakingly true too, that the loss of a giving spirit is a loss beyond their generosity. Sarah Nichols Christ never said no, never hesitated to dive in to any task and action, while sparkling with her love of life, friends and community. May we all serve with the same lightness and devotion.