by Dave Davis
I always find it rather interesting when things happen in my life that force me to “look inward,” rather than postponing such deep introspection for another time. They don’t necessarily have to be flashpoints or major roadblocks that I encounter, but they do need to be opportunities in which I can learn, make some progress, and, ultimately, evolve on some level.
Without exception, it has been my personal experience that one thing is essential before diving in, and that is courage. Having recently addressed the topic of anxiety in my previous column, courage in fact, plays a significant role as a perfect “antidote” to anxiety, when it comes to self-examination. It is often considered to be the “launching pad” that many view as the first step needed in this process.
Earlier this year, I introduced readers to a writer who goes by the name of jung pueblo. I’ve been particularly drawn to his New York Times bestselling work titled “Lighter,” as his modern, sage-like wisdom truly seems to encompass a myriad of topics — all from a unique perspective of compassion. I’m a firm believer that if there’s one thing that we can’t get enough of while “going inward,” it is self-compassion.
While thumbing through the pages of “Lighter” once again, I immediately came across a few passages that resonated with me, as they addressed what happens when we begin peeling back the proverbial layers of an onion.
He writes: “When we look inward, it has to be done with courage, because what we find will often be jarring. There are so many things that have been suppressed that when we take the time to explore our inner world, many old moments and rough emotions will come up for observation and release.”
Indeed, I think most folks would agree that much of what we discover when going deeper is rather unsettling. For whatever reasons, we’ve chosen to keep these issues and experiences buried, in an effort to move forward with our lives, yet as one continues to dig further, we might notice familiar, repetitious actions or responses that led us to this point in the first place.
“Healing helps clean the mind, but first it will show you the patterns that cause you the most anguish,” he later adds. I completely agree, and each time we encounter a similar experience, it should come as no surprise that we once again attach ourselves to this false sense of security.
Yet, when we choose to go inward and focus on the issues we are learning to be more conscious of, we’re then able to understand ourselves at a much deeper level. In essence, we’ve loosened the hard-packed soil just enough for those dormant seeds to now emerge.
Pueblo also warns us of something that I typically fall into the habit of doing, while in the middle of digging: “A common challenge is trying to measure your progress while you are in the midst of the process. You don’t want to judge yourself when you are feeling particularly stormy, as your perspective is clouded.”
As much as this process of going inward is a personal journey of discovery, I’ve also found that one is never truly alone if they’re willing to allow others in. I learned this lesson the hard way during the first several months of the pandemic, while attempting to address certain issues that had surfaced rather unexpectedly from deep within. Unfortunately, the more that I attempted to “go it alone,” the further I fell.
In an effort to assist us in our process, pueblo suggests: “Having a circle of friends who can be your comrades on the healing journey can be an incredible support system. People who are engaging in a similar introspective method as you will have experienced similar ups and downs. When we let others help us, we are actively letting go of the egocentric idea that we can handle everything on our own.”
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