Dave’s Desk@Ditch: There It Is

I always find it rather interesting how certain life events seem to arrive when we least expect them, that one can go for months, if not years, without experiencing something so life-altering, and then — poof! — like it or not, there it is. 

By ‘life-altering,’ I’m referring to those impactful incidents that far exceed the ones that we typically experience over the course of our day, and seemingly arrive without any warning. 

Examples of these types of traumatic events might be the diagnosis of a health condition, a severe weather event, or the sudden passing of a loved one. They all test our mettle, forcing us to cope with what has just happened. Ultimately, we try to process the trauma in a productive, healthy manner in order to continue navigating along our future life path.

Though I have experienced each of those scenarios mentioned above, what triggered me to write about this topic was a scene that I’d come upon recently while driving westbound on the Long Island Expressway en route to a family gathering in upstate New York. 

For the first hour or so of this typically five-hour trek; the pace was quick, considering the time of day. Once I hit the Nassau County border, the flow of traffic had slowed down considerably, a tell-tale sign that something of significance had occurred up ahead. 

After some 15 minutes of cars moving at a snail’s pace, the wreckage of a two-vehicle collision could be seen strewn about the eastbound side of the divider, with emergency personnel attending to the scene. By the looks of things, one could safely assume that the speed at which this collision took place must have been quite excessive. Though my own experience some 25 years ago wasn’t quite the same scenario, it brought back vivid memories of a day I would never forget. 

It was a beautiful Sunday morning when I’d left my parents’ home, having just shared a delicious, home-cooked brunch together. My goal for the day was to travel up into the Hudson Valley, about 50 miles north of my parent’s place, and view several cottages for sale that I’d seen advertised online. It was my initial foray into the post-divorce, ‘starting over’ process, so I was eager to get on the road.

Having reached the general area where the listings were located, I pulled into a gas station on the opposite side of the single-lane highway to fill the tank and grab a snack or two. 

Once set, before exiting the station, I checked both ways in order to cross the dividing line, and entered the northbound lane. It was literally five seconds later that an open-air Jeep with a sole male occupant in his mid-20s, estimated to be driving approximately 45 mph (according to the police report), crossed the double-yellow line and struck me head-on. 

The impact of the collision was so forceful that it sent the Jeep and its occupant careening on the two right-side wheels, eventually coming to a complete stop some 100 feet behind me. 

If not for the make and model of my vehicle (a 1983 Volvo 240 D), I most certainly wouldn’t be here today. 

Known for its bumper to bumper, all-steel construction, the large engine block took the brunt of the hit, leaving the interior ‘passenger cage’ completely intact. Mind you, this era of safety components in most vehicles was limited to a seatbelt, with airbags not being mandated by the government until the late 1990s. 

I sustained only some minor leg injuries, and was taken to the hospital for some x-rays, which proved negative. Upon investigation, it was determined that the other driver was a diabetic who’d bottomed out from low blood sugar, and revealed to the officers that he barely remembered driving for the half hour prior to the collision.

Aside from the incident itself and the trauma that it left me with for several weeks after, the memory that I’ve chosen to embrace wholeheartedly ever since is that of the three lives that hadn’t been impacted that day. 

While sitting on the curb next to my car, waiting for an ambulance to arrive; I noticed a mother and her two young children emerge from the vehicle directly behind mine.

It was half the size and weight of my Volvo, with an exterior constructed of mostly fiberglass that would certainly have crumpled like an accordion under the same conditions.

I immediately began crying, realizing the magnitude of that possible outcome. Moments later, the woman with her two young children approached me on the curb and asked if I was okay, while handing me a bottle of water. 

Tears flowed for a good minute or so, as I looked at the faces of the two kids, then up at hers. Without asking, she knew that my tears weren’t from sustaining any injury, so she knelt beside me as we embraced the severity of the moment.

Unpredictable, life-altering events have a way of turning our lives upside down. We’ve all experienced them. Oftentimes, they require us to both emotionally and mentally adapt to a new set of conditions moving forward. If we are somehow able to view these critical events as growth opportunities once the initial trauma has dissipated, then we’ve put ourselves in a much better position to recover from this and any future life-altering situations.

Dave Davis is a retired preschool educator for the Head Start program based at the Children’s Museum of the East End in Bridgehampton, NY. He is also a frequent contributor to the popular educational podcast for elementary school-aged children called “Who Smarted?” He can be reached at ddavis@eastendbeacon.com